Is there a word ‘failure’ in your child’s vocabulary? As parents there is a new language we are all learning. Our children or little kids or baby language. A language which is built on a daily basis.
Everyday he grows, his #growwithdamuru dictionary grows thicker. His words are so meaningful and brings the essence of emotions in it that we tend to use it for our elderly talks too.
The Koi Na Therapy – Never mind, it’s okay, it’s fine, don’t bother, it’s nothing, shorter version of “koi baat nahi” is the latest discovery and learning. This is a wonderful Conscious Parenting trick to help children handle failure. Sometimes it means its okay to fall, its okay to fail and its ok to not win rather its a good learning instead of winning.
Yes that’s exactly what this theory means. A theory about teaching kids how to handle failure.
Teach children how to handle failure
Now that Vaidik is going to play school, babbling, meeting new babies, running, around, swinging and sliding at the park, falling here and there, fighting with other babies, crying and often complaining. I have found a new and working theory very similar to placebo effect of #alliswell. Repeating the words “Koi na” in the sweet Punjabi tone with a pout is like a ritual for everything that bothers him.
When he falls it means it’s okay it didn’t hurt you that bad you are stronger my child. When he cries it means it’s fine you are just upset let’s move on let’s get happy. When he doesn’t find his toy it means let’s play another game there is always something better. When he is hungry it doesn’t mean much now hopefully he learns to be patient for 30 seconds till his food reaches his plate. When somebody hits it means lets talk it out.
For elder kids it is going to be tough to help them understand but we have to try. We need to help them understand failure just another milestone of our lives. Good way to start is talk about famous people from sports, politics, science etc. We also need to imbibe this in our behavior before teaching to our kids.
All in all yesterday my mother just forced another big dollop of ghee in my dal and said “like Vaidik says KOI NA” which meant you need to take care of yourself and don’t worry about calories.
Make Parenting Fun
These everyday learnings are more for parents of course. Kids do what they like so repetition would make the liking happen soon .
What do you say to your kid when they are upset, hurt, sad, hungry, angry, hangry? Do you like experimental learning. ? I am all ears. Pour in your COMMENTS and show some LOVE
This week I am collaborating with Cindy who is writing about Why she stopped amazon review campaigns and Amritha who is talking about Effective ways to raise an independent child.
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14 replies on “Teach children how to handle failure and strengthen their values”
oh my daughter would get depressed if she lost a simple snakes and ladders game with me. Haha! Now shes a little better at handling losing or failure at something. Still in the process though.
Thats such a lovely post. Keeping it lighthearted with kids, definitely helps in teaching them easier coping mechanisms.
As our kids continue to grow, it’s true that our baby dictionary grows too. Sometimes we all need ‘Koi Na’ in our lives too. Teaching our kids that it is okay to fall, fail and getup to try again is all that they need from us. Well written post Urvashi
I like the koi na therapy, we follow it too to face failures. But, there is still a lot more to learn. Thanks for the tips.
Parents tend to see their mission as helping their kids succeed. In fact, letting children learn from their mistakes helps build resilience. We need to praise children for their efforts and courage them to overcome setbacks. Very well written. Thanks for sharing tips
Failure is a reality that everyone faces, and it is better that kids are trained to face failure from an early age. Though success is desirable always, it is impossible that one will always succeed, so one needs to learn to cope with failure early on.
I find conversations definitely help in coping. We don’t ignore any issues but try not to make them too big either but rather normalise it.
talking is like medicine. it helps kids express and share their feelings, fear, anxiety with us. keeping the conversation open is the right way to encourage kids to talk
Teaching kids that another day will bring more happiness is a good mantra. We use phrase ‘koi baat nahi ‘ . 🙂
It’s a wonderful lesson for all ages too
This is very informative post . I guess it is very important for letting children learn from their mistakes. We need to praise children for their efforts .
Absolutely true dear
Winning and losing are two sides of the same coin. You lose some, you win some. Participation is important, that’s what I teach my kids.
Right said Rahul ji. Thanks for reading the post